Reuben Nachos
Ingredients:
Tortilla Chips: a pile
Corned Beef: 2 paws
Sauerkraut: 1 paw
Swiss Cheese: a stack’o slices
Pickles: a sprankle
Russian Dressing (or probably just Thousand Island): 5 to 10 globs
Preparation:
1. Procure your protein. It’s that time of year when everyone pretends to be 100 percent Irish to justify day-drinking green beer, so corned beef should be readily available in most grocery stores. Or just steal it from the customer buffet at an Irish pub (don’t tell Sarge).
2. Lay out some chips on a plate. Don’t use all of them right away, you fuckwad! A good nacho has layers of flavour all up in those nooks and crannies. Don’t fuck those crannies up like a basic nacho bitch.
3. Toss around some corned beef and sauerkraut like it’s going out of style (it is).
4. Pretend it’s your useless liberal arts degree and rip some swiss cheese to shreds on top of the pile that’s forming.
5. Continue to build layers until you have a Nickelodeon GUTS Presents: The Aggro Crag (TM) sized mound. Or until you run out of ingredients.
6. Microwave the crag on high for half of a Riverdance.
7. Glob some russian dressing all up in those crag-crannies. You can also use Thousand Island dressing because, let’s be honest, they’re the same fucking thing. I will buy you a gallon of Jameson if you can tell the difference in a blind taste test.
8. Sprinkle a sprankle of pickles on top of that hot crag. I know pickles aren’t any part of a traditional reuben, but they’re delicious and they kind of mimmic the jalapenos from regular, boring-ass nachos.
9. You’ve successfully (read: lazily) combined basic elements from a bunch of different cultures on one plate! Eat that bullshit up and pat yourself on the back, you asshole!
2 Comments
Sounds better than the bullshit Reuben I just payed $7 bucks for at the bar down the street. It was the size of a grilled cheese.
HOLY FUCK MY LIFE!!!! THAT’S SOUNDS AMAZING!! Think I could eat that during any part of the yr!!