The Slayer Pizza: “The only way to eat it is going piece by piece”

Dish: The Slayer Pizza (photo: Chef John Hurkes)

Ingredients: Chopped Fra Mani toscano, soppressata, finocchiona, Cypress Grove “Lamb Chopper” cheese, house marinara, signature communion wafer crust, and an altar wine gastrique.

Album: Slayer’s Reign in Blood - The classico 1986 thrashterpiece.

Tasting notes: Behold, the Slayer pizza. A vast sadistic feast, the only way to eat it is going piece by piece. The flour was stone ground from 350 communion wafers and kneaded together on an altar of sacrifice. It’s baked at a chilly 400 degrees and finished as the communion wafer crust starts to burn. These delicious ingredients were almost all purveyed from California, where it is said that thrash metal has its roots. As the pizza is sliced and “Angel of Death” is unleashed, you will scream along with the first taste. The smooth tang of the sheep’s milk cheese is offset in quintessential madness with the handcrafted salami. Like Jesus on the cross, heavy guitars rip through meat and cheese, exposing the unholy red sauce underneath. With the whirlwind beating of drums and those classic Slayer riffs, the pizza is soaked with a torrential altar wine gastrique. Raining blood from a lacerated pie! It should take just under 30 minutes to finish, and with 6.66 years’ worth of communion bread servings you might want to share it with your friends.

-Chef John Hurkes